Poop and Games. Related?

So I'm sure the title of this post has raised an eyebrow or two, but I do have a legitimate concern. In the near four years that I have worked for The Company, I have been involved in and observed two instances of feces on the premises, not in or around the toilet but on the sales floor. Let me explain.

-Epic Number One-
An associate was opening the store when a peck came at the window, the associate informed the early riser that we did not open until ten.
The customer said, "My NCAA is defective I need another copy."
The associate said, "Come back at ten with your receipt and we will take care of you."
The customer left, only to return 15 minutes later pecking at the glass. The associate yet again went to the glass and the customer asked. "Do I need the receipt, I reserved it."
"If you reserved it we will be able to look it up in the computer, just come back at ten."

So when the customer came into the store after ten the associate knew what to do, he got another copy of the game and began the transaction, looking up the customers info. Once the transaction was near completed the customer placed his defective game on the counter in a bag. After the transaction was finished and the customer left the associate pulled the game out of the bag and realized that it was covered in doo doo, poop, feces, shit, and dookie, yes all of them at once. The associate was appalled and was nearly scarred for life.

Even though the resolution of the situation is irrelevant some of you may still like to know. Our higher management decided that the customer would be allowed to pick up his fully paid copy of Madden but his business would no longer be welcome. When the customer returned to pick up his Madden, your's truly was the associate to inform him of the situation.

"Sir this will be the last game you can purchase here."
"What do you mean?"
"After the NCAA incident, your business is no longer welcome here."
"Aw man whatever, that guy's a bitch, I told him I dropped it in the bathroom at Wal-Mart."
After this statement he rode off into the sunset never to be seen again.

Epic Number 2 (haha number two...ahem... excuse me)

A mother was pre-ordering two DSi systems for her two children, five and seven approximately, halfway through the transaction the eldest child says, "Mommy I have to use the bathroom."
Her response, "Well you'll have to wait I'm almost finished here."

Fifteen minutes later, they exit the store, but not without saying goodbye. The oldest child apparently couldn't hold it. He left his own little signature, a trail of doo doo leading to the exit of the location.  I was lucky enough to be chosen to clean this mess.

I am a little confused by all this poop, maybe I am just lucky to have these experiences to share and that's what I'm doing, sharing them with you. I hope you have found this entertaining if not humorous, well ok if you were grossed out I guess I feel pretty good about that as well.

Soapbox Friday: Grand Theft Auto IV

So, Grand Theft Auto IV yea, I realize this is way late, but hey I didn't have a blog then and I do now so here it is. In my personal opinion GTA IV is one of the most over rated games of all time. Don't get me wrong if you love gritty realism, a poor driving mechanic, and being annoyed by your NPC cousin, then by all means GTA IV is the game for you. You may be thinking to yourself, " man that's all a little harsh Mr. TTB." Well I disagree, this game was hyped so much as the best Grand Theft Auto ever, and that it may be, that's not my point. I own the game and I invested a handful of time into it, no I didn't beat it, if you follow me or read regularly you will see that I buy a lot and finish few. The characters are mediocre at best and in most cases Rockstar's attempt to be edgy and to see how many mothers they can piss off. Before it is said, I do not have a personal vendetta against Rockstar and i am not a prude in any sense of the word, I just hate when customers are fed games that they are TOLD are ground breaking and they aren't. When playing this game i found myself bored and actually a little depressed, the game was very realistic and I felt that I was actually an immigrant trying to make it on the mean streets. There is only one problem with this, it was too real, I get enough gritty depression in that one game that we all play, gamer or not, the big L, Life. This game was not for me, but that doesn't mean it isn't for anyone, if you have had everything in your life given to you, haven't had to work for anything, have never had a down day, then this game will bring real life to you.

Just to prove that I am not completely biased, Saint's Row 2, This game felt like a game, it was not depressing and it was by no means realistic. The characters were juiced up ridiculous egos that we wish we could possess and exhibit in real life. Again the driving mechanic is unrealistic at best and the story is a little short, but Volition did a very good job in appealing to the things that gamers see as fun, nudity, senseless killing and of course fast driving with no real consequence. Saint's Row 2 is a game not an interactive walk down a street in Depressionville.

Well thanks for listening/reading my rant and I promise not all of my posts will be so... confrontational, if you will.

Butcher Knife + Playstation 3 = Instatutionalism

Working retail is always fun, but on occasion it is extremely enjoyable. This enjoyment is driven by the colorful and often entertaining patrons that enter our fine establishments. One of those individuals will be discussed in this post.

A couple approaches the counter, carrying a child, " We need a new PS3."

After this initial statement the general banter ensues, new used blah blah blah. They make their decision, which is not relevant to the story, and as the system is being scanned and bagged, the female asks, " Do you take broken systems?"

As the associate begins to answer she says, "Wait never mind you won't take it."

The associate looks at her questioningly, her response, "I took a butcher knife to it to get the game out."

As all gazes are cast upon her, "What, I couldn't find my screwdriver."

Not Actual System

I genuinely hope she meant the tool and not the drink, because this individual drinking while wielding a butcher knife makes Depends a product for me. I think it worries me most because apparently in this household there are no better utensils suited for destroying a beautiful piece of machinery, no crowbar, no hammer, no flame thrower... nothing. That still isn't the most disturbing point in all this, THEY HAVE A CHILD. This poor child will forever be confused, using a pencil to spread peanut-butter, writing with butter knives, using a stiletto heel as a hammer. Who knows what damage could be done if these types of poor utensil decisions are made every day. There isn't any amount of institutionalism that will fix this disorder.