So I'm sure the title of this post has raised an eyebrow or two, but I do have a legitimate concern. In the near four years that I have worked for The Company, I have been involved in and observed two instances of feces on the premises, not in or around the toilet but on the sales floor. Let me explain.
-Epic Number One-
An associate was opening the store when a peck came at the window, the associate informed the early riser that we did not open until ten.
The customer said, "My NCAA is defective I need another copy."
The associate said, "Come back at ten with your receipt and we will take care of you."
The customer left, only to return 15 minutes later pecking at the glass. The associate yet again went to the glass and the customer asked. "Do I need the receipt, I reserved it."
"If you reserved it we will be able to look it up in the computer, just come back at ten."
So when the customer came into the store after ten the associate knew what to do, he got another copy of the game and began the transaction, looking up the customers info. Once the transaction was near completed the customer placed his defective game on the counter in a bag. After the transaction was finished and the customer left the associate pulled the game out of the bag and realized that it was covered in doo doo, poop, feces, shit, and dookie, yes all of them at once. The associate was appalled and was nearly scarred for life.
Even though the resolution of the situation is irrelevant some of you may still like to know. Our higher management decided that the customer would be allowed to pick up his fully paid copy of Madden but his business would no longer be welcome. When the customer returned to pick up his Madden, your's truly was the associate to inform him of the situation.
"Sir this will be the last game you can purchase here."
"What do you mean?"
"After the NCAA incident, your business is no longer welcome here."
"Aw man whatever, that guy's a bitch, I told him I dropped it in the bathroom at Wal-Mart."
After this statement he rode off into the sunset never to be seen again.
Epic Number 2 (haha number two...ahem... excuse me)
A mother was pre-ordering two DSi systems for her two children, five and seven approximately, halfway through the transaction the eldest child says, "Mommy I have to use the bathroom."
Her response, "Well you'll have to wait I'm almost finished here."
Fifteen minutes later, they exit the store, but not without saying goodbye. The oldest child apparently couldn't hold it. He left his own little signature, a trail of doo doo leading to the exit of the location. I was lucky enough to be chosen to clean this mess.
I am a little confused by all this poop, maybe I am just lucky to have these experiences to share and that's what I'm doing, sharing them with you. I hope you have found this entertaining if not humorous, well ok if you were grossed out I guess I feel pretty good about that as well.